I used to have a friend, a best friend that was in my life all throughout high school and after. Then one day, she changed - and not for better. But this post isn't about pointing fingers and placing blame. It is about how people change and how we have to make the decision if that sort of negative change is something we want to share a place in our life with. Sometimes we have to think about how and why we allow ourselves to be around others that aren't the best for us and determine the benefits, or lack there of. Maybe we remain there for that person because we feel that is the only type of friendship we deserve, or maybe we feel as though that by being there for that person we can help them become better versions of themselves. But if remaining friends with that person is slowly, but surely tearing our psyche down in the process, what good does it do to stick around?
Sometimes there comes a point in a person's life when they start to realize what their friendship with the other person is truly like. And if that other person gives us nothing but negativity, that realization can leave us in the depth's of frustration and emotional abandonment. It sucks when you realize that you were the only one giving everything to the friendship and that all they ever did was take, take, take. It's hard to accept that, because it hurts and sometimes it is even harder to walk away. Especially when you are walking away from someone you've known for so long. Someone you once shared everything with, all of your fears, hopes and dreams. But walking away from something like that has it's benefits, because if you stay you might end up wrung dry of everything that makes you happy and complete.
Years ago, I made the decision to walk away from a best friend. It was hard, but it was something that I had to do, an act that I don't regret. I couldn't be in a friendship like the one that I was in anymore, it was far too negative and emotionally draining for my own good. So, I slowly slipped out of her life, a clean break that I felt good about (and grateful towards Wade for being my backbone when I was lacking). The hard part was over, or so I thought, because once all was said and done, I realized that I was now friendless. So, I had to start from scratch. I rebuilt and created my ideal best friend and what I felt as though I deserved in another person. At first it was slow, even hard at times, but it was a process I am glad I went through. Even if it left me feeling hopeless and fearful of the fact that maybe I was destined to remain friendless.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, for those of you out there still searching for a best friend, don't loose hope. Yes, the meaning of best friend has changed since our youth. We have jobs now, and husbands, and families. Being best friends doesn't mean staying on the phone for hours, or being inseparable all the time. Life gets in the way far too much for that now. Instead a best friend can mean something so much more than a high school friendship could have ever offered us. A best friend should be someone who is there for you, someone who can relate to you and someone who you can feel at home with in any given situation. And yet, at the same time, it is so much more than that...